Monday, January 31, 2011

Because If You Live Close to The Coast, You're More Open Minded

Correct me if I'm wrong, but for the last 40 years America has been obsessed with health and healthy products.

At least places that are a couple hundred miles from the coasts.  All those fat people seem to populate the inside states.

Everyone seems to be on a quest to find the answer.  How to lose the weight?  How to beat that unbeatable foe, aging?  How to get in the preemptive strikes against things like cancer and old person brain and death? 

One of my money jobs is at a yoga studio, and working there I see and hear about all kinds of "cures", things that "work".  Some people are frikin' crazy with the things they come up with.  For example, the yoga that is practiced at our studio is Bikram Yoga - yoga done in a room heated to about 105 degrees with 50-60% humidity.  This is already an extreme yoga, yet some people feel the need to intensify an already intense experience.  There are some choice individuals who not only wear long pants and long sleeves, but also wear another layer over that - it appears to be a thick plastic bag in the shape of a full body suit.  Apparently it intensifies the heat.  Because that's what you want to do in a room that's 105 degrees already.

I'm going to clue you, my lovely readers, in on a secret.  There is no single food or exercise or theory or diet that will work for every single person.  The road to health is an extremely individual journey.  But doing things like eating properly and exercising in some form, you will totally get closer.

But I always find it funny when people do things for their "health" that they hate.  It makes no sense to me.  I love Bikram Yoga, I've been doing it for almost 7 years because of that simple fact.  I love fresh fruit and vegetables and fish and good meat and stuff like that. 

Tofu - for me - is mostly pretty gross.  It has to be prepared in just the right way in order for me to like it.  So I don't eat that much of it.  I know that it has a lot of protein and is supposed to be all good for you, but its icky to me, and why would I put myself through something just because?  If something is nasty, it's nasty.

Today on the way home from my other money job - catering, not stripping - there was a woman next to me on the subway.  As we were riding along she pulled out a bag of dried fruit and began to eat.  If you have read any of my other posts you might remember that listening to people eat drives me bat-shit crazy, and thus I tend to be hyper-aware of people when they eat near me.  The fruit she was eating was the all natural dried fruit, fruit that has simply been put in a dehydrator and had nothing else added.  Not the good kind, where they put a slice of fruit in a barrel full of sugar and let it sit for a month and a half, so when it comes out its about 2% fruit and 768% sweet, delicious candy-like wonderfulness.  Fruit that has simply been dehydrated tastes like a combination of cardboard and old cardboard.  It's as easy to eat, too.

This woman gnawed and chewed and desperately tried to ingest this so-called "food", the whole time with the most awful look on her face.  And it wasn't just her face, I stole a look at her after she was done and she had a normal-ish face that didn't look unhappy to be alive. 

It just made me wonder why she would do that, why would she eat something that was so displeasing to her.  What is the point in extending your life if you're unhappy when you are living it?  I'm not a crazy-go-nuts kinda of person, I don't party like crazy or sleep with bunches of guys - and I love my life.  I love my family and what I do for a living and the people I keep around me.

Why would I fuck that up by eating something disagreeable? 

I WOULDN'T!  BOOYAH!

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