I was struck today by what I feel is an illustration of a core difference between men and women.
For many years I have been searching for the perfect perfume. Now, for a woman, this is an incredibly serious undertaking. A scent cannot simply smell "good". It must, in the most subtle and feminine way, say something intrinsically true and honest about a woman's spirit. It has to be a signature in a way, so that when a woman walks through the door of a theater or restaurant or bar (or pub if you will), a man (the perfect man) will be inspired to stand up out of his seat and in the most gallant and romantic fashion introduce himself, declare his intention to get to know said woman and learn all of her mysteries and uniqueness.
That's what goes into a woman looking for a scent.
A man can just get some Axe body spray and he's good to go.
I'm not trying to be disparaging against members (hehehe) of male-ness. In many ways, I envy that ability, to not agonize over every little detail. Don't get me wrong, men have their own obsessions. Be it sports or video games or penis size, our barbaric counterparts have their own preoccupations. At times they are even more similar to ours. My best friend (a straight male) will spend hours on his hair. My James' attention to detail while cleaning rivals that of any cleaning service. My friend Jared's obsessive love of music has sent him all around the globe. But there is always something about these preoccupations that is so completely male. The hair and attention to detail and music - while these are all things that can be attributed to qualities women also prize - have something about them that is so masculine that I cannot call it "girl-y". Ok, maybe the hair one is a little girl-y.
There is nothing wrong with being different. I thank my lucky stars that James and I are so different. If we weren't, he'd let me get away with my shit and I would be in a terrible position. I wouldn't be able to learn more about myself, change would be difficult and painful. Now change is just incredibly irritating. See? It could be worse.