Friday, January 7, 2011

The Moths Are Named Gerald and Steve

I hate it when I give movies and TV shows a chance and they bitterly disappoint me.

I have been sick for the last few days, so I have been mining Hulu for some decent TV shows to make the sick time pass faster.  Needless to say, my brain has been melting with the shitty TV out there. 

I started this TV show (I won't mention the name, as you know those network execs are on the lookout for any chance to sue me and the moths that populate my bank account) for two reasons.  1) Because I thought it might be an interesting take on an already established story and B) because all the seasons were on Hulu.  By the middle of the first episode I found that I had developed a tiny but throbbing ache behind my left eye.  I thought, that's you being sick, sinuses could totally be behind your eye.  By the end of the first episode, my right leg had begun alternating between involuntarily twitching and losing all feeling entirely.  I calmed down by convincing myself that I was merely having a stroke and wasn't forcing mindless crap into my brain.  In the credit sequence of the second episode I was ready to admit myself to Beth Israel.  

Its as if the shows don't even try anymore.  They seem to think that sub par acting and a shit-fest of atrocious special effects are enough to hold an audience, and unfortunately I couldn't see how this wasn't true, as the show in question was in the 3rd or 4th season. 

Ok, who remembers the old TV shows, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess?  Now, these shows were fantastic.  The stories in the episodes by themselves were solid, well formed and easy for the lay-person to grasp, and for the more advanced audience member the over-arching story line was complicated enough to keep you engaged.  The special effects were rarely over the top, even in a time period where such a practice was accepted.  And they never threw in shit effects just to throw it in.  And hey, at times there would be a cheesy line of dialogue or a bit of schm-acting, but the characters had so endeared themselves to you that it was easy forgiven.

So many shows today don't even give you the opportunity to get to know your main characters before they start throwing shit at you.  How am I supposed to be invested in a story if I don't give a crap about who's going through the pain?  

And, I am sorry, but in this day in age, shitty special effects are inexcusable.  A huge problem I see is that if a problem can't be solved in 2.5 seconds the director says, "Ah, we'll just put it in in post."  BULLSHIT!  Figure out a way to make it work, especially if you are getting your four year old with an iPad to design your stuff.  And if you can't go big, THEN DON'T.  Find a way to make the STORY engaging.  Bells and whistles are lovely, when the bells actually ring and the whistles don't make farting sounds.

 . . . . 

Ok, ok, if I got cast in a part in the shit show, I would eat it up and bask in my pay check.  Then at least my moths would have some company.

No comments:

Post a Comment