I was in a situation recently that really makes me question human behavior.
Why on earth do people chew gum?
I think I have mentioned before that the sound of people eating drives me absolutely bonkers. As you may surmise, the sound of gum chewing is like a deliberate torture, specially designed for me. Forget the rack, forget thumb screws - have someone chew gum in my ear and I'll tell you anything.
I was in a situation where there was a woman behind me who was chewing and smacking and blowing bubbles for what felt like hours without end.
I was nearly driven to acts of desperation and blood lust.
How can anyone find chewing gum attractive? As soon as I see or hear someone chewing gum I instantly judge them. I develop a whole persona for them, and it usually involves little to no respect from yours truly. I would say that it makes me think of cows, placidly chewing their cud. But it doesn't. I WISH it made me think of cows. It actually brings to mind a person who can't bear to have their mouth closed for more than two seconds. So either they have to have their mouths crammed with some kind of chew-y, chemically substance to have it continually smack open and closed because of some strange jaw issue or its hanging open expressing some terrible opinion or thought.
Just a cathartic release, people. I am aware the way I feel about the gum-chewing members of the population is a terrible generalization; they are not all terrible ingrates with walnut brains. There is just something about the sound that emanates from the movement of a gum-filled maw that drives me MENTAL. It crawls into my ears and squirms into the very base of my brain stem and constricts itself. That means that I MUST strike out to save my life.
That makes sense, doesn't it?