When I write these posts or clean or cook or change litter boxes or do dishes or any of the myriad of super exciting things that I do when I am home, I have to have some noise going on behind it all, to distract me a little bit. Kinda like, when I'm getting home from a long night (catering, not stripping, come on, guys!) and my feet hurt and I have the sleepies, I have a tendency to count my steps to get my mind off how I am feeling.
That's normal, right?
Anyway, so I scour Hulu looking for a semi-amusing/interesting/not nausea inducing shows that I can put on in the background. Its a great website, I highly recommend it, but there is one thing that gets to me a little. There are only a couple of commercials per episode, but they are always the same! I gotta tell you, Geico needs to change up their Hulu commercials, they drive me nuts.
But it was one of the repeat commercials on Hulu that always serves to remind me what a terrible person I am.
There is one of those "give money to the children" commercials on there. It starts out with that one white-bearded guy asking the viewer about their change (money) at the end of the day. "That change that you just throw on the dresser and forget about. And won't you invest that change in something worth while. Invest in it her." And then they show a shot of a little Hispanic girl in a dirty dress walking down a squalid street, all muddy and fly infested. They are attempting to garner your sympathy.
Well, that's not how I react.
When he says "Why don't you invest in her," my first thought is, "Well, because she's probably not going to amount to anything and I want a return on my investment."
I mean, come on, it would be one thing if you had some kind of guarantee. If she was absolutely going to become a doctor so that if I was sick I could go to her and be all, "Hey, I gave you the change from my dresser that got all this going, this should be on the house!" and she'd smile and be all, "Oh, of course, you invested in me, and you should get a return!" and I'd be all, "What can I say, I'm savvy that way."
Am I being completely out of line? If you just want me to help, then yeah, just say, these people don't have anything but trash and malaria and they need your help for trash cans and mosquito nets. Then I'd be all, fine, yes, have the $0.78 that's in between the cushions on my couch. But don't try and make me think like I'm gonna get anything out of it!
I'm a terrible person.