I hate it when spammers don't take who they are spamming into consideration. I know I am not the only female to be inundated with emails proclaiming some miracle that will enlarge my penis.
Let me tell you something, spammers. I am perfectly fine with my penis exactly the way it is.
And even if I wasn't, I did some embarrassing research on the internet today and I am pleased to say that there is such thing as penis enlargement surgery. I don't know why I was initially surprised about this. Just about any kind of cosmetic surgery is done for the benefit of men anyway. Any woman who tells you that the double D's she spent a fortune on were for her own self esteem is a liar. Just getting those planets on her chest didn't give her self esteem. It was the leers and catcalls and men she was able to lure into the valleys of those mountainous peaks that gave her "self esteem".
Regardless, any tuck, suck, nip or augmentation is done for the male population.
Because of this, I would love to know how often penis enlargements get done. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I haven't heard of it - I mean, would you tell someone if you had your penis "done"? You would want to make everyone think you were born so well hung.
I wonder what they look like.
Now I know that the actual reveal of what they would look like is only a short internet search away, but when I was looking up the cosmetic places that do the penis enlargement surgeries and I clicked on one link for more info and there was this big ol' dong there I got all flustered.
I would imagine that they look far from perfect. But then again, how could you screw up a penis? Its not like they're master pieces of biological engineering. Its basically a balloon straw. And no one expects a penis to be great to look at, or anything.
Cause, ok, boobs people want to look at. Even women want to see other women's boobs, and not out of a latent lesbian tendency, just cause boobs have a pleasing symmetrical shape about them. You don't want those babies scarred up or otherwise marred by surgery. You'd want a doctor who would make your breasts look like they were just out of the box, brand new and smooth and perky and ready for an adventure!
But penises just make people uncomfortable. For example, if you are in a movie theater and the director decided to be a jerk and have a fully naked dude swinging his junk all over, everyone in the theater will find a way to look at something else. They are just so unpredictable. They give you the feeling that it could just jump out at ya, without warning. Men themselves claim that they have little to no control over their genitalia. How is that supposed to be reassuring in any way? That doesn't fill me with confidence.
Who looks at penises for recreational pleasure? Not me. They are a strange combination of being silly looking and menacing. Like clowns. I feel like Mother Nature got lazy when she/he created the penis. I mean, the female form is so well thought out. Clean lines, everything functional and attempting to be useful - its like Apple designed it. The male form kinda looks like someone set up a Ken doll-like frame and just threw handfuls of creation-mud at it and anything that stuck was in.
File this one under "Odd Subway Thoughts."