People Bring Me Closer To Disappearing Into The Bush of Australia

The more and more I see, the more and more I despair for the future of this planet.

"Oh, Ashley, why do you say that?" You may query.  "Are you speaking of the state of the American government as it currently stands?  Do you refer to the economic crisis that worsens by the day, or our enemies that grow by the hour?  Are you planning on joining the protesters on Wall Street?"

My friends, the answer to these questions is an honest, emphatic and resounding NO.

...

I don't have to look the far away from my own experience to know that we're all fucked.

The future of this country, and the world as we know it lies in, as it may imply, the future.  And the custodianship of the future belongs to the young, the kids who are in school now, who are developing their own dreams.

The little fuckers who write insulting things on the internet.

Ok, I admit, I have a difficult time dealing with little shits who write nasty comments on videos or posts.  They do it because it's a safe environment, because they don't have to actually speak to someone, they get to be anonymous and they aren't in danger of being punched in the face.

As a performer, I have one or two things on YouTube.  And I know that I get way too emotionally involved in people being assholes, so I have the comments set up so if you want to comment, it must first be approved by yours truly.

One of my videos recently got a comment.  I am always interested in constructive criticism.  I really do welcome it.  Do you have something to tell me that will help me improve my craft and become better at what I do?  You took time out of your day to aid in my crusade to be part of the top tier of performers?  That is incredibly selfless.  I could cry.  Honestly, I have tears in my eyes as I type this.  How on this plain or any plain of existence can I possible thank you for that?

Or are you just being a little shit.

I am addressing this to youtube user manaranam.

This person (gender unknown) watched a snippet of a live edit of myself and another very fine actor performing Danny and the Deep Blue Sea.  This play is full of very complicated themes, dramatic and funny.  It is as visceral as it gets, dealing with two people far down the road to despair who find each other, and through their own tragedies, save each other.

To which manaranam commented - "this is stooped"

I didn't clean that up at all.  

Lower case lettering.

No punctuation.

And really, not making any sense at all.

I am assuming that what manaranam meant to say was - "This is stupid."  I don't see how he could have actually meant "stooped".  The dictionary defines the word "stooped" as "to bend the head and shoulders, or the body generally, forward and downward from an erect position; to carry the head and shoulders habitually bowed forward."  

Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe manaranam is concerned about us.  Maybe he/she saw something in the film that made them think that we need to see a doctor, maybe somethings' wrong with our back, maybe this was his/her way to reaching out to us to let us know we need to get something checked out.

Hey, perhaps that's the reason there was no punctuation!  User manaranam was in such a rush to get us this information, they couldn't even bother with proper grammar!  They were all, "Fuck it, these people need to know about the stooping!"

Unfortunately, I have a strong feeling this is not the case.  

Come back when you learn how to spell the word "stupid", dipshit.

This, dear reader, is why I despair for the future.

People Are Weird. Just . . . Weird.

Continuing with the whole babies and insanity vein . . .

The concept of empty nest syndrome has been on my mind lately, as my folks will soon be without children at home as my brother has just graduated college and has a good job and will no doubt be getting his own place as soon as living at home drives him completely out of his mind.

I actually think my parents won't have much trouble with having the house to themselves.  They enjoy each other enough that they will relish the opportunity to each to know each other again without the bother of their offspring underfoot.

This is not always the case, it seems.  Many parents feel very sad and depressed when their kids exeunt stage right.  This can be extreme, even leading to feeling like you are at the end of your useful life, excessive crying and not wanting to have any interaction between your friends or co-workers.

Rather than give these people real advice and tell them to get a dog, a recent website suggested something obviously more useful and not at all crazy.

I read on this website - which is clearly based in strong scientific fact - that getting a life-like baby doll is the best way to combat the vanished baby blues.

You can specify whatever you want these dolls to look like.  Do you miss your daughter's baby days?  You can send pictures to this place and they will make a complete replica in doll-form.

For example:

Eyes, hair - everything essential to bringing back a time in your life where you weren't sleeping, you barely had time to pee and your life as you knew it belonged to a screaming lump of flesh.  

Kinda cute, huh?  But wait, what if your baby was a monster?  What if it looked like this:

Why would you want something like that hanging around your house?  I mean, it must have looked scary enough when it was an actual baby, but having a super creepy doll that just sits around and surprises you at your most vulnerable - like when you wake up in the middle of the night with it staring down at you with a hungering desire for your soul.

Wait a tick, any specifications at all?  You mean if I have true insanity I can make all my crazy-ass delusions come true?  You mean I can make a baby look like this:

One moment.  Let's look at another angle of this breathtaking creation:

Someone wanted a little fairy baby.  Apparently getting a replica of their own child was not satisfactory.  The life they created wasn't good enough, they needed something better!

Bet their kid felt great about that.

But now the possibilities are endless!  What about this?

A monkey baby!  Better than a human baby!  And look, its smiling!  Playing with a ball!  But a monkey, so its better!

Whats better than a monkey?  How about a zombie baby!

Yeah, that's fucking cute.  And now with all the Twilight bullshit what with Bella and Edward making an awful vampire baby, people are going to start getting those too.

I despair for the future.