I'm pretty sure marshmallows are evil.
I was making some incredibly unhealthy goodies for a gathering of friends (for Westlemania - don't judge) - most of which I can't eat myself due to an intolerance to diary. One of the ingredients to these treats happened to be marshmallows, and after a cursory glance at what goes into these puffy delights I was all excited to see that there were no cow products included.
So I ate one.
This proved to be one of the greatest mistakes of my life. The thing totally expanded to unthinkable proportions in my stomach making me completely unable to live a proper life for the rest of the evening.
Once I had recovered I decided to take another look at the ingredients. Here's what I found.
Corn Syrup.
Ok, that I can deal with.
Sugar.
I wasn't expecting these things to be healthy. Sugar, ok, yes.
Dextrose.
Apparently this is another type of sweetener that is commonly used in body building. Huh.
Modified corn starch.
According to Wikipedia, this means that the corn starch was modified chemically to be used as a thickening agent. Wait, isn't corn starch already a thickening agent? So it was modified to make things even thicker? I guess it makes sense, marshmallows are quite dense. But still . . .
Water.
Ooo, that's good!
Gelatin.
Wait a tick - that's something else that makes things thick. Um, so now we have two additives to thicken the outcome - one of them in mutant form. I'm beginning to understand why I felt the way I did.
Tetrasodium Pyrophosphate.
Ok, high school Latin, let's break these words down. Tetra. That means four. Sodium. Salt. Pyro. We all know that one, that means fire. Phosphate. Now this one I looked up. Wikipedia told me that a phosphate is 'any salt or ester'. So basically, from the Latin, Four Salts on Fire.
Um . . . .
Artificial flavor.
But is doesn't say what!!!!!!
Artificial color (Blue 1).
THEY'RE WHITE!!!!!! THE LITTLE BASTARDS ARE WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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